What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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