did you get engaged???
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
