Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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