We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
