My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my being single is dangerous.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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