Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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