he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
