Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
