i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
