I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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