Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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