so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
