watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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