I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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