Your face is a jimmy john
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
