Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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