just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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