walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
