first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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