Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
