i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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