its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
