Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
