Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
