My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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