It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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