I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
