Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
