I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
