I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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