I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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