Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
