So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
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And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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