Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Sorry about my life...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
