Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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