She's JV to your varsity
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
