She said her name was "party"
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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