bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
