Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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