she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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