Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
