Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
