Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
