He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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