Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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