During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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