Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
