He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Oh god it's open bar.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
