So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
