I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
