he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
