am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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