I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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