let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize