The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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