Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
