No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
