Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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