Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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