I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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