anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
