This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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