she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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